(This is my ‘promotional author photo’ for The Handwarmers of Immortality, I think I will need a new one for My Two (Not Gay) Gang Biker Boyfriends and my upcoming Viking novel the title of which I decided not to reveal yet in case someone steals it). The Handwarmers of Immortality, my grim dark epic …
(This is what I look like in my reality when I delve deep into the reality of my new Novel. About which all is below!) My dearest, dearest Current and Future Fans and Friends! (CFFF) I know you’ve been waiting with bated breath to hear the news and here it is! The Handwarmers of Immortality …
My dears! As some of you might know, the reason why I am married to Gunther is that he saved me when the Colombian Maffia killed (I think) my ex-boyfriend (who was my current boyfriend at the time) and they were heading for me, too, but Gunther helped me escape with a suitcase containing between …
–negar and then you tried to consume it like wine…Next year, to save me from fear,I will not be invited! So, that was a success. But let me start at the very beginning! As you might know if you follow me on Facenovel (which is what you should be doing) I have a half-sister named …
My dear Fans and Friends! Those of you who follow me on FaceNovel, which you should, know about my recent suffering caused by my neighbour Vasoline’s new face. I would describe it as unsightly, except I sighted it, which was a major mistake. Lassie, who is my dog, took off in panic. Her leash was …
Hi, this is Paolo. Karen has not been able to type since she broke her forearm AND her keyboard, and she placed a phone call to some bank, went all white, and told me she had to lie down. (I won’t bother her with my invoices for a bit. Poor thing.) So, to humour her, …
My dearests! As you will know if you follow me on Facebook I and Gunther have been invited (also, Myrna and her husband Harry, about whose male balding pattern in a bit) for dinner at Ethel’s to be introduced to her new partner. I am, as you know, the least judgemental person in the world, …
Oh, my dearest F&Fs. “Mortification” doesn’t cover my mortification, even. I have been taken into A&E (this is ER for my American readers and “emergency” for the European Union ones) in PUBLIC. (I am well, before you cry in alarm!) But how! Oh, my dearests! So, there I am, having consumed a pizza with the …
(First, about the picture. Since I live in cognito, I was forced to blur my side of the fence. But then, obviously, if I left the rest unblurred, I could easily be recognised through a helicopter. While Vasoline’s Contraption seems recognisable, it is of the army colour that helicopters can’t see, and also I couldn’t …
Dear Readers! I have clearly been cursed. Three dinners. One brings smug Robert and an arrestation. The second has vegan lettuce in it that didn’t even come from the supermarket. And then the third. You would suppose third time lucky, right? A happy ending, so to say? Well, it definitely ends my dinners in company …